Chapter 37: Goodbye Dryden, Hello London

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— Full chapters will appear in the printed published book. —

The summer of ’69 was a mix of work and fun, as Roland and I got to know each other even better. We saw each other at work at the mill, and spent our personal time together as well. The summer was wrapping up and it was time to shift our focus to our new lives, in a new city.

While I lived at home with my mom and didn’t own much other than some clothes and a few personal items, we rented a small U-Haul trailer to transport Roland’s belongings to London. These included mostly his machinist tools that he required for his job. At one time he owned a house in Dryden, but he had sold it and all the furniture. The trailer where he now lived was furnished. Other that the tools, he had his own clothes, plus various household items.

I was very emotional at the thought of leaving home and somewhat dreading saying goodbye to my mom. I was aware of one fact that she might not have anticipated and I wouldn’t tell her just yet — that I would never be back in Dryden again to live with her. This was the end of a chapter, I was sure. I didn’t want to break this news to her as she had no idea of my engagement to Roland, which was still a secret between just the two of us. I was fairly certain that I would be married before next summer, but my mom might have thought that I would return to work again at the mill. London was too far away to come back home for a weekend, so my mom and I might not see each other for months. She probably didn’t think about that. I didn’t want to make her too sad about my leaving.

For a few days before we left, I tried to imagine what it would be like to say goodbye to my mom. In spite of the fact that we had grown apart, I loved her so much. I pictured an emotional outpouring of mutual love with hugs, kisses, and tears. She would be saying goodbye to her only daughter, her youngest child. If I had been my mom, it would have been heart-wrenching to watch my child leave to go so far away. When Doug left home, she still had three children at home. Even now, she still had my two brothers at home, so maybe I was being a bit too dramatic about it. I also thought of how it must have been so difficult for Roland’s mother to say goodbye to him, knowing that he was going across the ocean to another country. I’m sure she knew that plane travel was expensive and trips overseas were not that affordable for working-class people. Once Roland left Germany, it would be a long time before he would return, and his mother probably knew that.

On the morning I was to leave Dryden, I was up early, packed and excited. I knew we had a long drive ahead of us, at least 12 hours to get to our first stop in Sault Ste. Marie. My mom got out of bed and said nothing to me as I busily got my stuff ready. She sat at the kitchen table, drank her coffee, and smoked a few cigarettes. Roland pulled up outside and came into the house to pick up my bags. We were at the front door, ready to leave, and so mom got up to say goodbye. I put out my arms in a motion to hug my mom, but she just stood there in front of me, hands by her sides like a cold statue, still clutching a cigarette in her hand.

She said, very seriously and sternly, without one shred of emotion, “Goodbye and don’t expect any money from me.”

She didn’t put her arms out towards me to give me a hug. I hung back, but finally put my arms around her, hoping she would show some affection, but she was cold and stiff.

I was stunned and flabbergasted. I wanted to hear her say how much she would miss me, how happy and proud she was of me. I wanted her to wish me success in my studies. I didn’t expect any money from her, nor from anyone, and I never asked her for a cent to help me in university, so she didn’t have to tell me that. This was so cruel and so mean. I turned around and left quickly, I didn’t want her to see the tears in my eyes.

Her callous comment and her lack of emotion hurt me more than she could ever know.

Roland grabbed my bags and put them in the trunk of his Cadillac. I got in. We slowly pulled away. Buckets of tears started to roll down my face. How is it that I loved my mother so much and yet she showed no feelings for me? I found her coldness so hard to accept.

It was a beautiful, sunny summer’s day, but it might as well have been cloudy and raining. I felt so blue. I cried off and on throughout the whole day, during the entire 12 hours of driving, and a short stop for lunch. I tried to keep my mind off it, but as soon as I thought about home, I sobbed. Roland must have wondered what he had gotten himself into. He must have thought, “Who is this girl? Why is she so unhappy? Is she ever going to cheer up?” I was fulfilling a lifelong dream and yet I was a slobbering mess.

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Another girl came to my room, she was Samantha’s roommate, also very friendly, from Toronto. She said she couldn’t wait until Thanksgiving so she could go home for the weekend. She missed her family already. She asked me if I was going home for Thanksgiving. I told her I came from Dryden, as if that should be enough of an explanation.

“Oh, where is that?” she asked.

I told her it was located in northwestern Ontario, and to describe it further I explained that it would take at least 20 hours of non-stop driving to get home to Dryden. It would take even longer by train. Airfare was far too expensive. A return plane ticket to Dryden would cost more than my tuition. She was puzzled. She still didn’t understand. I don’t think she believed me. I silently wished I had one of them as my roommate instead of prissy Pretty Penny.

Another girl peeked into my room and introduced herself. She said she was a “head girl” and would be here to help me if I had any questions or problems. Each hallway had a few single rooms that were allocated to senior students. They could apply to become a head girl, a prestigious position as most of the rooms were reserved for first-year students only. The head girls acted as counsellors to the new students, and were in charge of maintaining discipline and order. She made me feel welcome and wished me a good stay.

We went into the hallway and I met a few more girls. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was in a very elite girls’ residence. Many of these girls had been in private boarding schools. Some passed around pictures of their parents’ elegant, luxurious cars in front of big, beautiful houses.

At 5 p.m. I went to the front waiting area to meet Roland. This would be our last meeting until the next weekend. He would be busy with his new job and setting up his apartment, I would be sorting out my timetable, finding my way around, buying textbooks and supplies and so on. A welcoming meeting for all the residents had been called for the next afternoon. Tuesday was registration and after that, classes would start. It would be a full but very exciting week for me. Roland and I had dinner at his place, again sitting on the floor using his big toolbox for a table. He dropped me back off at the residence around 9 p.m. and I went to my room. Penny wasn’t there and I certainly didn’t miss her.

I thought the rah-rahs at Dryden High School were snobbish and elite. I had no idea what I was getting into now. I was in a new and different world. I still had hopes to make good friends at Delaware Hall, however. I wasn’t going to give up so easily. I just didn’t know how I could cope sharing a room with such an unfriendly girl. I wasn’t charming enough to be able to break through her icy personality. I would just have to wait and see how things would turn out.